She came in through the bathroom window!

Current Mood - Beatles-crazy, head-over-heels
Current Music - Why Don't We Do It In The Road? - The Beatles
Walk of Life - Spice Girls
Can you feel the love tonight? - Elton John

Wow.
So, I just saw 'Across the Universe' again.
And I went to Rain (The Beatles Experience) friday.
WOW.
I'm totally adoring them right now. My CD player currently holds The Who (Endless Wire; thank you Grant!), Wolfmother, The Beatles (aka, the White Album) and The Beatles 1. (5 disc changer) I just flick on one of the three Beatles, and groove. Oh wow. AtU was as amazing as ever. It's just an incredible movie...I love watching it and finding all the random quotes from Beatles songs. Ex, "I told meself, when I'm 64..." " 'Where'd she come from?' 'She came in through the bathroom window' " Tehe. So bad, but sooo funny.
I finally bought Sean a birthday gift saturday night. I was in Chapters, looking at the comic collections, and thought to myself "Sean wanted a comic collection...but which....I know! I'll call him!" Now that we've lost all the surprise to buying each other birthday gifts....Oh well, I'm very happy. I'm getting a t-shirt of my favourite xkcd, AND I bought my dad and myself an Ian Rankin novel. He writes amazing British crime fiction. I read the book "Naming of the Dead" over the summer, and I'm now completely addicted.
I'm really going crazy, I think. I'm doing so much, and I'm changing so much. It's actually rather odd. Meh.
Oh god...Grant, child...you have changed my mind, majorly.
I'm sure I could have quotes from debates today, but, no, too tired. =P

Things that made my day:
Seeing Sean
Miko and Russel winning, Kees getting 1st speaker
skipping two classes.

I'm back. Riot in the streets.

Current Mood - Tired, midly angry.
Current Music - None

So, yeah. I'm back. I've decided I have enough on my mind that I'm going to try and blog again. No garuntees about how often, but I'll try.
Soo, life's been pretty weird. I'm confused a lot lately. Like, one minute, I'm really happy, hyper, acting like I'm five. James can attest to this. Next, I'm like, super angry, for no reason. And it's no use blaming PMS, because this is happening all the time. Another reason I'm trying to blog. Gets stuff off my mind/chest.
I guess...one of the biggest things that's bugging me, is Grant. That may seem odd, but, when I'm with him, I'm over the moon, as any girl would be. But, when we're not together, when it's been a couple days since I've seen him, I get angry. For no reason. He's lost his phone again, which bugs me, cause we don't always talk on MSN every night. But at least we'd try and text. Lots. I feel better just talking to him, but when i don't get a response...Chloe, Robyn, Kelsie, Chelsea, Anna and Becca saw what happened at band camp. I was just...pissed/scared. When I don't get a response, I get worried. I worry that I've done something wrong. But anyways.
Band camp. That was fun except that I broke down on Thursday. During the Presto of Mvmt. 3 of Suite on Canadian Folk Songs, that was just too much noise. I had to get out of there. I felt like I had my concussion again. Then, just add onto that, everything comes pouring out. My worry with Grant, stuff that had happened at camp, not talking to Sean, The Ex-Keepers, my odd feeling of loneliness/forboding...i just cried my eyes out for a little while. It felt good by the end.
In much more recent news, Amanda Arthur's back at Aberhart. Which means, we're going to fall apart. Again. Dammit. We try to be Swiss, but it's difficult. Anna and Becca have already indicated that they're leaning towards Amanda, and I've proven that Chelsea's got more of my loyalty. Aidan, smart boy, is staying as out of it as he can. But it's not just our group. It's the entire band too. We're going to get a picolo back, and she's going to go prima donna on the rest of us. Oh well. We'll see what happens.
I saw Across the Universe on Saturday. It was SO AMAZING. I totally want to see it again, soon. It was just...wow. And I met some crazy cool people, Josi and Daniel. We had good times. =)
That's all I really have to say for now. I'll try to update at least once a week. We'll see. No Quotes for now, mainly because I only decided to blog about ten minutes ago. =) Ciao.

Insulting your captor is not wise.

I had to, I just had to. Anyways,

Current Mood - rather happy

Current Music - none

I've not got a lot to update. Thursday I went to Alyssa's for a Keepers get together. We had fun, and I laughed very hard when Sean was getting attacked by mosquitos. =)

Hm, yesterday was very slack. I cleaned most of the morning, then Kelsey, Nils and i went to the mall, as we all needed new flips flops. I ended up getting wonderful purple flip flops, and Franz Ferdinand, and two t-shirts, all of which I adore. FRANZ FERDINAND!! i've never actually owned their first album, but i've borrowed it, and I adoree it. Better than their second one i think. =) So I'm very happy about that.

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX COMES OUT IN 10 DAYS!!! I sooooo can't wait. Apparently, I'm going with Daniel, Amanda, and a friend of Manda and Dan's. It'll be fun, we're all going to dress up. =) Oh man, this is gonna be a great month. OOTP, and HP and the Deathly Hallows, Stampede, Nils going home. I know that sounds harsh, but I'm kinda happy Nils is finally going home. I've lived with him for 6 months, and we get on each other's nerves. He's the oldest in his family, and he's used to being the wise one, the one everyone goes to for help. But, we don't need that here. He's tried to give me advice about stuff I've been using long before he was here. Once, a program wasn't starting, but it was late, and I didn't need it, so I turned off the computer. Well, I attempted to. I'd clicked the icon so many times, about 16 i think, that the computer had to end the program 16 times before it could turn off. So, it came up with the box with the loading bar that said, "Ending Program, or click 'End Now' " So, I waited, for about two boxes to run their course, then I started clicking "End Now" every time it came up. Nils saw me doing this, and told me to just let it end. I didn't listen, because I knew what i was doing. When I clicked "End Now" he had a huge freak-out. It annoys me so much when he thinks he's right, when really, he's not. I know more about here in Canada than he does, and I can easily do things the way I want or the way I know. He insists we do it his way. I hardly listen anymore, because it's just plain pointless. I know what I'm doing, and he doesn't understand that he's not the wisest one here. Maybe I could be a little less stuck up, but he could stop trying to be my older brother too.

Wow, my blog is posting with double-sapces. That's really annoying. It irks me.

Anyways, that's my rant for today. Hope y'all had fun. =)

No Quotes, but I will add this new one I've been meaning to put up:

Things that make my day:

Franz Ferdinand's first album.

yay for fat duck/hippos and robots!!!

Current Mood - Exhausted, sick of life!!!
Current Music - None

I'm friggin sick of soccer. Last week, on monday, i had a practice, wednesday was an extra practice with Nils's team, thursday and friday I reffed for MSB, saturday and monday this week were my games, and sunday I played up with Nils's team. Yesterday and today, I was reffing, yesterday for NCU, today for MSB. Yesterday I went to the zoo for about 5 hours, and today I went to Heritage Park for about 3 hours.
I hated my home coach yesterday. Tori (a carded referee) was my linesperson, and she was great, flagging the offside positions just like i asked her to. When I actually called the offside, the coach would freak out at me. (U12 Boys) At halftime, he came to me with some story about how his players are in their half, and are just running around, and when they get the ball, I think they're offside. BLOODY HELL, NO!!!! I mean, players are fast, but NO PLAYER IS FASTER THAN THE BALL!!!! Fuck him...seriously, people ACTUALLY don't want to ref his games because he's such a jerk.
Anyways, i took Nils to the zoo yesterday. Kelsey met us later, after her exam, and Grant joined us too. =) It was going around the zoo. We really had a good time.
today, we went to Heritage Park. Mitchell, james and Dessi came as well, and we had a really good time. Chloe was supposed to come, but unfortunately couldn't. =( Oh well. We had fun, even when Kelsey and Des were being idiots, and putting pennies on the track. Ooh, Sean's going to work there later this summer. =) Can't wait.
After Heritage, I went and AR'd a couple games for Murray. They were great, a U14 Boys and A U16 Boys. I really enjoyed running the lines, and the second half coach was great, so good about keeping his bench in line. =) Makes my job easier. And Murray's just a great ref, I really like working with him.
Henry came over on Monday too. That was fun, we played Wii. Wario Ware is sooooo much fun. =) It was good times. We ate an entire bag of chips, and drank two litres of Kool-Aid, aka sugar water in about two hours, by ourselves. =) I love days like that. That was my mini Stetsons tour celebration, which probably would have been larger, had I still been dating someone in Stetsons. =P But it's cool. You guys should be on the road now, poor kids. According to Kelsie, you were supposed to leave at 1, but left around 3:30 because a bus broke down. =( Oh well. Have fun, and be amazingnessly awesome!! I love you all! =) <3
Well, now, I'm done. Really? Mostly. Oh well. Wow, talking to yourself Haley? Yep! =P

Quotes:
*whistles* "Sorry Red, we didn't realize..." *thinks, "Yes Haley, you and your multiple personalities didn't realize they were subbing"* - Haley + Haley's inner voices.

"Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi. That's why I joined the Facegroup Book!" (Grant)
"You know what you just said?" (Haley)
"Facebook group?" (Grant)
"No..."(Haley)
"Dammit not again!!!" (Grant) - Grant and Haley at the zoo

"I could run a hundred laps." (Kelsey)
"Not if you're a fat little duck/hippo" (Alec)
"But I'm cute though!" (Kelsey) - Kelsey and Alec playing Wii

Everyone's got something to hide except me and my monkey

Current Mood - Strangely happy and midly tired
Current Music - The Beatles - The Beatles

Well, what has happened in the past few days? Hmm, well I suppose the most major thing is Tim breaking up with me. I'm surprisingly not hurting as much really. Sunday was crappy for me, then, Monday rolled around, and I guess I just got up saying, "Okay Haley, Let's start the week fresh." So, if you're reading this, I'm okay.
Other than that...Science reviews every day this week except Thursday and Friday. The exam is tomorrow, so I guess that makes sense...=P Anyways, I think I've discovered that every Science 10 teacher in the school was better than mine. Can't believe my parents perposefully organized my schedule so I could get her.
In other news, I've been listening to Gustav Mahler non-stop for the past few dys. It's kind of funny, because his moody, depressing music is actually helping me feel better. I've got it momorized, which i don't think is a good thing. =P I'm quite happy sitting on the bus listening to it, while all the annoying Junior High kids get on and create a rucus.
Wow, I'm actually out of things to say. =P No quotes even!

But I do have a picture for y'all. =D

Random musings.

Cheers to it all, I hope you had fun. Running around, you ruined my life hun. The secrets kept so dark, can't believe I escapred with hardly a mark. The things I found out as the end of the year...A story so deep, I'd long to hear. Because we were quiet, because we were friends. This is our secret, until the world ends. I'll run with you, toward you, away from you, I'll never run from your words. The words that are written, so firmly in pen, that worry me, scare me, but are done. What's to be said about them, who I am in your eyes, I couldn't think you'd be the right one, the perfect one. I'd give you a chance, if there was no other, But the other is so mimportant, you might not understand it. Look kid, I'm sure you think I mean lots. I'm not too sure, your stories are wild, do I really want to be part of that? I think not my friend.

i'm allowed to think about him
right?
or am i horribly wrong
to think
but thoughts aren't forbidden
not here
not now
but thoughts are so dangerous
like the way they feel
a danger to them...
something they should never feel
simple words for complicated feelings
thought that betray us
thoughts that destory us
though of love, thoughts of death
all that consumes my thoughts
is him, but is that wrong?
it can't be wrong to feel the way i do
because of what he does, so important
So...

These are random musings I wrote, when I should have been focusing. =P Hope you liked them.

Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove

Current Mood - Tired, fairly happy, still a little dreamy
Current Music - Wolfmother

Not much has really happened, I just felt like blogging. Today started off rather odd, with my mother calling my cell while I was half-asleep. She and Kelsey had left for Medicine Hat, and Nils was on the phone. So, call Haley's cell phone! *rolls eyes* At least they got through...Anyways, because of the major rain, Nils's game was cancelled, which means although I was ready to play up (for the second time in two days; different teams) I didn't have to. Which meant that I had to study Science for an hour. Uggh...
After that, my dad and I went out ot take the recyling away, and went on some errands. That was kind of important to me, cause I don't spend so much time alone with my dad, and I love drvinig him, listening to Q107. We got some rather yummy lunch, and saw na old teammate of mine, Jeremy. Man, that kid has changed...Well, nothing of importance happened really.
Driving home, they played Led Zepplin's Black Dog, which is one of my favourites by them. (yes, it's my title) For a moment, I lost my mind and thought the lyrics went, "Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you brood" Rather odd to think of that, but then again, my head's not always been in the present lately. Damn, why did I think of Tim when I heard that?
Anyways, we're heading out my brother's play tonight, should be fun. And if anyone wants to hang out some time soon, please tell me!! I'm going to die of boredrom if I don't get out of my house every now and then.
Oh, completely forgot!! When my parents went out on Thursday, they went to a party for my uncle's party. Long story short, 54-40 were playing, and Dad got me Matt Johnson(The drummer) 's autograph!! AND JAMIE MCLEAN AND RHETT WARNER'S!!!!! I was sooooooo happy, and still am. I really like 54-40 and I love the Flames!!! Anyhoo, that's just some randomness for ya. =D je t'en manque mon petit

Two Hornpipes

Current Mood - Dreamy, tired
Current Music - None, listening to POTC 2 playing behind me


Ahh, I'm sooo beat...In the past 36 hours, I've written three exams, spent far too much time on Calgary Transit, and gotten 6 hours of sleep. However, I did go and see Pirates of the Caribbean 3. =D
Yesterday, I had my piano exam at 11:25. I did kind of badly on the technique, i forgot the difference between a harmonic minor and a melodic minor. But other than that, I did fairly well. Then, I wrote my final social exam. FUN! not. At least I made it through. After that , I spent 40 mins in the Brentwood train station waiting for Alec and Nils so we could go to Chinook and see POTC 3. About 30mins on the train, then finally at Chinook, by which time I was starving. Mmh, far too much fast food in the past four days...ugh...Anyways, we met up with Tim, and the four of us went and saw Pirates. It's officially my favourite movie, just because of seeing it yesterday! ilu so much Tim <3
Today, I had to write my French Reading comprehension. Again, not too bad, but I think I was a little distracted...TIM!
I've really nothing more to say, except for the fact that I did more stuff. =) Essentially, today has been one long attempt to focus for me. Again, Tim.
I don't even have quotes!
Wait...

Quotes:
Nobody move...I've dropped my brain - Cap'n Jack!

You make me feel like I'm bigger than who I am

Current Mood - A little nervous, sad, happy, calm
Current Music - Art of Listening - Tom Cochrane
Hello Goodbye - The Beatles
Who's that Girl? - Hilary Duff
Come Together - The Beatles


Well, classes are officially over. I'm not sure if I'm happy about that, most of my friends are people I see at school, but don't hang out with otherwise. I mean, I'm glad it's summer, and it means I'll be able to hang out, see some friends who live in the south, get a tan. =P But then again, school's just such a big part of my life.
Anyways, on Sunday I went to Jubilations Dinner theatre with Daniel, and saw Magical Mystery Tour: Songs of the Beatles. it was a combo, Monty Python and the Holy Grail/Beatles. I loved it, and knew pretty much all of the songs, with one or two exceptions. Dan and I even got called onstage!! They were singing "Come Together" during intermission, and I was grooving in my seat and singing along, so they came over and were like, "You're singing along, you go up with Lancelot!" I just had so much fun!
Saturday was the BP tournament. Ugggh...Damn you Westmount...But not actually. Keenan and I did terribly in the first round, gave no POIs, and were up against three senior teams. Second round, we ended up on prop side with Sean and Lyndsey(hope I spelt that right). We were lucky, because although they were a better team, they managed to keep us relevant in the debate! Third round was odd, we were in a room full of Abe debaters, like literally, we were all from Abe. Mariam and Gareth actually debated in the that round. The were 1st prop, and had no idea what they were doing. Everyone helped as best they could, but it was a debate of three teams. Fourth was okay, we ended up on opp with Kurt and Stephen. Apparently we did badly, but there was one guy in the prop side who just plain pissed us off, he took almost no POIs, and have so many, and was obviously pissed when we waved him down. all in all a tournament I think.
I played my first game of the playoff round last night. So much fun, and we won 2-0. I played goal first half, and i pretty much sat down twice. That's how good we were playing. I was a lazy player on Mid, but I actually got two scroing chances, which i screwed up. Sent them right at the goalie...
Anyways, exam break! yay, not. I have to go in almost everyday for Science tutorials. It's not too bad, i'll probably meet Paw for Wendy's most days. =P And plus my piano exam is tomorrow, as is my social exam. FLA is on friday, and Science is next Thursday. busy, busy...
On an amazing happy note, all my friends made it into Stampede! YAY!! Tim, Chelsea, Kelsie, Niel, Lauren, Moni, Braydon, Henry, Adam... YAY!!! I'm soo happy for y'all.

Quotes:

"The only case they brought was their second speaker!" - David Miko in finals, talking about prop's case or Kees...or lack thereof.

"You guys finish your game of SPIT(*slaps hand on air, as though slapping the table*) and we'll be right back!" - Rebekah

When the rich wage war, it's the poor who die

Current Mood - Excited, hungry(?), ready to leave
Current Music - Linkin Park's Minutes to Midnight and Pirates of the Carribbean 2

I really don't have a lot to say, it's just that I need something to do other than Science review. I've been having odd mood swings lately, like one moment I'll be so happy, and ecstatic, then suddenly, I'm depressed and emo. I don't think it helps that I'm home alone right now. The music that yesterday made me so happy, and wanting to just get out and run, is making me cry today.
Chloe and I had a very interesting conversation yesterday. We started off by discussing Panic! at the Disco, then somehow we were talking about classical composers wearing guy liner. Ew, much?
My entire family has soccer games today, Kelsey's at hers right now, I'm on the same field right after her, then Nils has a game that I might be playing up for. And I might play up for his team tomorrow too!! I'd love that, I miss playing Boys so much. It's a different game than Girls, and much more suited to my style, my style being very technical. I'm like Ronaldinho playing in the English Premiership rather than in the Spanish Liga. Ask me if you want that to make sense. =)
People, aka Sean, have stopped guessing my titles. =( It makes me sad, cause that's one thing I look forward to, is when you get it, then you try to figure out why I'd put it there.
I'm so frustrated, I'm not going to see most of my friends until like, the end of July. Far too many are in Stetsons, which means they have preformances every second weekend, and every weekend they don't have preformance, they have band camp. Plus, they go on Tour at the end of June, and get back the day before Stampede. So pretty much, I'll get to chill with them in August, except for the fact that I'll be taking one week to travel with my family, then my summer drama camp(hopefully!) So, essentially, I'll see you guys in September! =P Dammit Tim, why did you ask me out in spring?

Quotes:
"HAHAHAcould you just imagine it? oh! Shostakovich with guy liner!! he'd be so much more emo." - Chloe

I dreamed I was missing

Current Mood - Tired, happy
Current Music - The Kraken - POTC 2
Bleed it out - Linkin Park
He's a Pirate - POTC 1
Jack Sparrow - POTC 2
No More Sorrow - Linkin Park

Well, I rode my bike to school today. I have to say, that was possibly the best way I could've started my day. I've been listening to the POTC soundtracks almost non-stop, and today was no exception. The Kraken is officially my workout theme, for those of you who understand, it simply exudes confidence and power. Plus, it's fun to think about parts of the movie while riding along, and seeing if I can pedal in time. =P
We had a drill evacuation today, which was pretty much just a waste of time. We walked out to the field, I stood with my friends for 5 minutes, and walked back in. We wasted my Science class that I didn't really need. Final Petit Prince test in FLA which I breezed through, and spent pretty much the rest of the class listening to POTC2. =D I love that soundtrack again.
I love how slack today was. I got out of half of gym cause I felt dizzy, and Social consisted of faking working for about 20mins, while playing cards the entire class. David and Alyssa M both came and asked us if we had any extra packs of cards. They really should come to class prepared! =P
Summer is truly nearly here, I got my first ice cream of the season from Coffee and Scream, Stetsons is busy every weekend, soccer's getting into full swing, and I have bug bites all over my legs. Oh, and if anyone wants to get together next week, Friday the 8th, please tell me. I think I'm going to LaserQuest, my sister is having a surprise party with all her grade 8, 13-year-old friends, and I'm getting out of the house. Nils wants to crash the party, and I don't care if he does, but there is NO WAY I would stay in the house during that.
On a completely unrelated topic, my mom brought home some educational videos about Canada the other day. One is called, "Flanders Field: Canada before during and after WW I" or something like that, and the other is called "A literary Atlas of Canada". If those don't scream "Haley", I don't know what does! Well, maybe Tim. =P
On another unrelated topic, my freckles have officially exploded. My face is completely covered in 'em. That's what I get for being ouside I suppose...Not that I mind. Not only am I freckly, I'm also tanned! Luckily, not a soccer tan, which means only my knees get tanned, cause of shinpads and shorts.
Anyways, I've bored you all long enough, ttfn! Love you baby (K)

Quotes:
"Imperfection is fun!" - Haley
"Why are you all coming? Is it cause I'm so good-looking?" (Spencer)
"(slightly sarcastically) Oh, of course Spencer! You're so good-looking, everyone comes!" (Haley)
"So, because I'm so good-looking, everyone cums?" (Spencer)
*Rolling eyes and sighing* - Haley and Spencer

Runaway love

Current Mood: Undecided...
Current Music: Pirates of the Carribbean Sountracks, 1&2

Well, I saw Pirates yesterday...YAY!! So fun, it was a day off, so about 12 of us decided to go for Chinese and go see Pirates!! I won't spoil it, but yeah, pretty much loved it, and I will absolutely go see it again with anyone!!! Must get the soundtrack to round out my collection...
Anyways, I had soccer on Tuesday, which ended rather badly, because i played my former team and coach, and the referee was an absolute ass!!! He gave us NO CALLS FOR THE WHOLE GAME!! You can't tell me that the other team didn't do anything wrong THE ENTIRE GAME!!! Fcuk, I hate that ref...He thought obsruction is no longer in the rulebook!! WHAT RULEBOOK IS HE WORKING OUT OF???????
Sorry, little spazzy, but I really didn't like him, and I wasn't the only one... we lost, 1-0 anyways.
Afterwards, while talking to Tim on the phone, he suggests that I should go to the Stetsons rehearsal on Wednesday, because i have Thursday off. (Yes, two days in a row, I know you're all jealous...well, those of you who don't go to Abe...) Uhm, okay, interesting idea...maybe, I say, and my mom as well. In the end, Nils had a soccer game nearby, and my mom dropped me off, then picked me up most of the way through the rehearsal. I have to say though, Timmy, that was the most absurd suggestion ever. Anyone in band knows that inviting someone to a rehearsal means they'll be sitting there, just listening and watching. And considering I had to leave halfway through Mass Band, there really wasn't anything of interest to watch, except the Colour Guard, but still, I sat for nearly two hours without speaking! Plus, I've seen the show. I mean, I liked freaking out all my CSSB friends by randomly showing up, but still. I highly doubt I will be doing that again.
I've now uploaded all of Round-Up's field show from Music n' Motion onto YouTube. My account is CSSBgroupie, I think it'd be easier for you all to find them that way. I'm working on getting Stetsons' up, but it's really long and slow, so I might not have them done today...we'll see...
I really should be doing my Social homework, but I've completely forgotten how to write a business letter in French. Something about, you can't address the person, you have to say like Cher Monsieur ou Madame...I think...Don't know, don't care. I'll do it tomorrow, before school, frantically asking everyone, "How the hell do I do this????" =P
It's funny, in the past two/three weeks, I've changed a lot, and if I can notice it...I know that my relationship with Henry has changed, we're actually on speaking terms, and I think he's getting the fact that I have the same friends as him. Going to the movie with him and everyone else yesterday, and last week when Chelsea had my MnM ticket, and she wasn't there, I realized that he knows, and I need to stop. Just, stop. I think I'm finally over him. I know most people think that's an odd thing to say, but it's true. Ask me if you want the whole story. Anyways, I'm done fighting him, and I'm ready to be his friend again.
It's funny, almost ten times today, tears have come to my eyes. And everytime, they were for boys. Stupid boys =P. I keep wondering, and asking myself, am I really different. And really, I know I am. But, it's hard when each day, I wonder, am I going to call him, or what? I hate to, because I don't want to be the girl who needs attention constantly, but on the other hand, I hate going a whole without communicating with him in any way shape or form. Oh, and there is the fact that I think he keeps a) forgetting his cell phone or 2. forgetting to turn it off Silent after band. But, i can't help but wonder...I met his friends on Sunday, hardly though. And I apparently am such an outsider that I don't the respect of my name. I understand he's had a lot of "girl toys" but at least call me my name, all I want to be known for who I am, not for who I'm associated with.
Final thoughts, I officially have no sympathy for Marching Geeks. I saw your guys' warm-up, running suicides, and jumping jacks, and i watched y'all march, slides, forwards/backwards etc. but still. I have no sympathy when you guys walk out panting. Soccer players run before practice, during practice and after practice. We run before a game, during a game, and usually after a game. You guys march quickly, slowly, moderato (hehe =P). We run. Jogging to start, but then my warm-up goes into a fast skip, which includes various arm movement, and then a shuffle. Sprint to the end line and back, carry the ball, fight for the ball, run afterwards. We run insane suicides after practice. Guard would maybe be the only ones I could relate this exercise regime to, because they move faster and a bit more than others. I know soccer and marching are taxing, physically and mentally, marching maybe more mentally than soccer, but still, we work really hard, and we go for a bit longer than y'all. I've played 90 minutes straight, whereas your longest parade maybe goes for a couple hours, with a few breaks, because someone up ahead was being slow. Anyways, this is just me ranting, you've no need to debate this.

Quotes:

"Four of you have tried to kill me. One of you suceeded."
"My peanut." - Jack Sparrow

(My grandmother walking out the front door, looks down at the step) "Hey, there's three pennies here, they're yours!" - Grandma. I love her so much.

Give me a shoulder to cry on, when I need it.

Current Mood: Exhausted emotionally, tired, depressed, unhappy.

Well, I'm writing this at school, mainly cause this is the only time I'll be able to.
So, on Saturday, my soccer team won our first game. Yay!! We won it 3-0, which is really good, and Brittani (the other goalkeeper) saved a penalty!! That is excellent, because keepers aren't expectedto save penalty shots.
After soccer, I had my end-of-the-year piano recital. All went farily well, except in my first piece, Sonatina by Thomas Attwood. I've been trying to memorize it, and during the recital, I forgot the middle section. However, being trained not to stop, I paused only a moment, and skippeda couple bars in order to keep the piece going.
Yesterday, I went to Music n' Motion, and I have decided that I am going to make this an annual thing, whether I go alone, with friends, whatever. I'll go until I die. And even then I'm going to tell God to let me come down just to watch that. =) I chilled with Grant during intermission, which was cool, and he owes me three bucks. So does Tony, casue I bought them drinks. Chelsea pretty much attacked me during intermission, as did Tony. I did get to sort of meet Braydon and Moni, which was nice...however, it was very short considering Grant was in line for drinks for me. After intermiss, I went and sat behind Stetsons, and pretty much talked with the Tony the whole time. The bands were great though, and I filmed Round-Up and Stetsons, so if you guys want to see the recordings, just let me know! =) Unfortunately, I didn't really get to talk to Tim. =(
I've been really exhausted lately, and it's not fun. I'm trying to hide that fact from my parents, and it's getting harder and harder. Plus, they're more likely to kcik me off the phone now. They should just let me back on the computer, then they wouldn't have that problem.
Kelsey was just dumped. I know no one cares, but, it's been hard for her. C'mon guys, most of you remember when your first relationship fell apart.
Friday was the 30th anniversary of the release of the first Star Wars. My dad remembers what theatre he it at. That theatre is gone now. Anyways, Nils and I celebrated by having a weekend-long Star Wars marathon. We were up till at 12:30 two nights in a row. Fortunately, we finished by about 8pm on Sunday, which meant we could go to bed.
Speaking of sleep, I think my life has gotten so crazy and drama-filled, that it's actually affecting my sleep. I woke up at least once and hour over the weekend, and it's really not good when I'm trying to hide most of my exhaustion from my parents.
Anyways, I think I've ranted and bored you all enough, so I'll leave until the next time I can get onto a computer.

Quotes:

"Out of the three of us, Tim's the one who wants it the most, and he's the one who will get it the least. " - Moni, how true...

"M. Porier thinks that Haley is dating either Keenan or me!" - Kurt

"Ms. Ng apparently thinks that we're dating." - Spencer, considering he can't even spell my name...

Yay, 30th post!!

I'm just so sick
Of the hurt, the lies and the pain
Leave me be
Let well enough alone

We're alone
But together
And I'm tired of
You never getting it

Please, Please
Don't walk away
But I think I need you gone
Stay, leave, wait

Don't let me think I've lost
I'm ready for you
to tell me the truth
Be real, please

Because if you're not
I'll be broken
Not damaged, but broken
Worse than ever been seen

You're not yet my world
And I can't make you be
All I ask is for you to grow up
I need you here

But how can you be here when
I know you don't even want me
You're just playing with me
Messing with who I am

Because I've pretended for you
And dreamed for you
I changed for you
And only you
I love you Tim.
I'll never forget
What this was
But never will I linger
On what is wasn't
I love you Sean.
Run away with me
Because I'm alone
And I'll never know anything else
If we don't have faith
I love you all. Don't think this means anything, cause I'm not sure if it does.

Children's Hospital...again.

today I got a concussion.
Fun, I know. I'll give everyone the whole story soon enough. I'm sorry, I'm still a little brain-dead, but just know that at the worst point, i thought the alphabet ended at V. And, when attempting to text Keenan, I spelt "hospital" 'hiosipal'.
Give me a call guys, it'll really help. I love you Tim
Even worse, Sean's at RYLA. =(

Sorry y'all.

hey guys, expect the posts to be few and far between for the next couple weeks. I'll explain to those that want to know.

Come and keep your comrade warm

Current Mood - Relaxed
Current Music - The Long and Winding Road - The Beatles
Underwater March - Pirates of the Carribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Right here, Right now - Fatboy Slim
A Hard Day's Night - The Beatles
Get Back - The Beatles LOVE
Opening Theme - Yutaka Minobe & Takayuki Maeda
What's Your Name? - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Get Down(You're the one for me) - Backstreet Boys

Well, Sunday was actually a very nice day. I reffed a game at 12pm, then pretty much came home and helped make dinner,cause my entire immeadiate family and Mat and Tara's girlfriend and boyfriend respectively, were coming for dinner. We played a lot of family Wii, which was really nice. And everyone taunted me for talking to Tim, even though M&T's gf/bfs were there... :/
Today was a nice school day, Science was a very relaxed class. I was allowed to leave early, because my FLA class went to La Rouge restaurant for lunch. Wow, was that some amazing food. There was a great mushroom and garlic soup to start, followed by a choice of either salmon or chicken ravioli. I had salmon, and Hannah had chicken, so we shared. They were both very good, although I think I prefered the chicken. Dessert was a brownie was butterscotch sauce and rasberries, ice cream, a gooseberry and half a strawberry. It was sooooo good. Unfortunately, Meagan got a little hyper from the Sprite and dessert. It was rather funny. Leslie, Hannah and I all entered the band room at the same time, and that was the exact moment that Paddock was giving a huge lecture. Apparently, Sam had his headphones in, and was listening to them during the pieces, and at a pause, everyone could hear them.
Social was funny, we watched a video with some frighteningly funny pictures, music and cartoons. Plus, when she turned out the lights, Henry's sunburns started glowing.
Soccer practice was actually really relaxing, even though I was unhppy with my dad for the way he was making me work, but really, it was a good practice.

Quotes:
"You can't disturb someone who's already disturbed." - Ms. Ng, my science teacher

"The middle being a vampire, I mean elevator." - Spencer

"Thorncliffe, or-" (Spencer)
"-Genius?" (Haley and Spencer)
I love you Tim.
Cheers y'all.

The IV and, your hospital bed...

Current Mood - Happy, puzzled, slightly and awkwardly injured.
Current Music - Camisado - Panic! At The Disco

So, yesterday was quite a nice day. We started Bio in Science, and I don't terribly mind it, however, I'm perfectly content with just taking Sci 20/30 in the next two years.
Kelsey went to a movie with her friends and Guddu, and Nils decided he wanted to go to a movie too. So, that meant I had to find someone to go to a movie in about 30 mins. Luckily, Alec, our nieghbor was able to go, but unfortunately, we arrived too late to get tickets to Wild Hogs, and got tickets to the Invisble instead. One thing I didn't realize was, that was the movie Kelsey was going to see. I would not have suggested it had I known. Anyways, the movie was great, but I'm not allowed to talk about it, thanks to Sean.
When I got home last night, I checked my email, and found out that my ref gig at 9:00am tomorrow was cancelled. That was nice, so it meant that i didn't have to be reffing soccer at 9am on a Saturday. However, my mother wanted me to check at *:50 this morning, just ot be sure that my game was cancelled. I checked again, and insisted it was. Stupid smart referees, one's injured and sent me his assignment for 10am. Fun, fun. All went well, other than the fact that the field was soaked/muddy.
After that, I somehow managed to take a 2-hour nap, and managed to get most of my nesscessary tasks done. I went to Sean's house at 7, which, undoubtly, was a good time. We watched Boston Legal, which is like, the best law show on television, EVER!! I love you Alan Shore... but not as much as I love Tim. Our passion creshendo'd more then Bolero..<3

Quotes:
"Hate all fake blondes unless they do something useful." - Me
"Caligraphy, like wierd pictures and shit-like what the Egyptians did!" - Chad, one of Sean's *ahem* less gifted classmates.
Wow, I honestly had so many, but I've forgotten them now.

Love is officially blinding.

Current Mood - ECSTATIC!
Current Music - There's a reason these tables have numbers honey, you just haven't thought of it yet - Panic! at the Disco

So today, Amanda, Cheylina, Katelyn and I all brought our Gameboys to school, and all our Pokemon games, cause we saw a guy on the bus yesterday with a Gameboy colour. I brought my Colour and Pocket, Manda brought her Colour Pikachu Edition(!), Chey brought her SP and Dolg(gold-I spelt that backwards completely by accident, I didn't want to delete it)Pokemon game, and Katie brought her SP and i think Red. I brought my Yellow, and Manda brought her Yellow and Silver.
Gym class was okay, considering we had to run to Foothills pool to the tennis courts. Then, after about twenty minutes, we had to leave cause it started raining. Then we played dodgeball for about an hour.
Social was...interesting to say the least. First, we had a unit test, with a sub. When we finished (by we I mean Rylann, Koos and I) after 20 minutes, we asked to go to the library. However the library was full( NO space anywhere, not a computer or table) so we went to the cafeteria. We finished everything we could on our project, and then just pretty much took a spare. I played Gameboy, and Ry watched me, Koos left to get some food, and Henry joined us part way through. That was the best peroid I've ever had.
So lunch was pretty wicked too, mostly Kurt, Keenan, Allen and I chilled in the debate room.
Nothing terribly exciting in FLA, but in Science, when I was finished my test, my mother called me. On my cell phone. So, I went to Ms. Ng, and asked if I could use her phone. She asked me why, and I told her that my mother just called me. She rolled her eyes and consented.
So after school, it was snowing like heck. Fortunately, Kelsie offered me a ride home, so I didn't have to walk through it. When I got home, I was pretty happy when Kelsey told me to call Tim. Phone conversations are my favourite kind, except for face-to-face.
Tonight, about an hour before my soccer reffing gig started, I checked my email, and discovered the game was cancelled. YAY!!! I'm pretty happy about that.
I realized today during gym that I used to date one of THE least-athletic people in my school. No hand-eye coordination to speak of. Not that I'm trying to be mean, but it's true. Sorry G-Unit.
During FLA today, I scratched my chin, and it began bleeding like there was no tomorrow. I managed to stop the bleeding fortunately. Then, tonight, I scratched my chest, and began bleeding like there was no tomorrow. So, I've decided that my body thinks there is too much blood in my system, and needed to get it out.
Missing Tim and Sean like there's no tomorrow y'all.
Quotes:
"It's raining men! Halljuia!" - Haley and Rylann

"It's raining man juice?" - Catherine Willows

"You know Venus was the Goddess of..." (Rylann)
"Love? Yeah" (Haley)
"And..." (Rylann)
*giggles* - Haley and Rylann

"I'm your Venus, I'm your fire!" - Rylann

"Nothing broke, nothing spilled, there was just some glass on glass action" - Haley
Wow, I didn't realize how dirty that sounded.

"That's a really pretty necklace." - Tim
I know, it's a little old, and really, it's the way he said it that makes it a quote. It just came into my mind suddenly today.
<3 Timmy...

Soccer, I love you.

I had a great after-practice session by myself today. I worked so hard, on the things i need. And yay for doing extra training after practice. Especially in front of the U18 boys. Cause i was playing their caliber. And I'm all 'haha, it'd be funny...if one of them hit on me...'cause they'd never succeed.'
ah, this was a great night.

Leave us alone, Mel Brooks!

Current Mood - Excited
Current Music - Dark House - Spirit of the West
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band(Reprise) - The Beatles LOVE
Sideways to the Sun - Horselips
He Wasn't - Avril Lavgine
Blinded By the Light - Manfred Mann

So the past couple days have calmed down a bit. Yesterday, I could've, but really didn't fee like blogging, and consequently, I was talking for about 45 mins with Tim on the phone. Ahh, I love long conversations, with anyone really.
Soo, today was Career Fair, which I went to instead of going to my APTA Festival, which is kind of an optional exam prep. I'm kinda glad I went to career fair, bcause I found out the I would really love to not be a Music Therapist, they are possibly the most boring people in the world. At the job fair, I think I'd like to work at Blacks Photography. That would be a great job next year. Spencer and I applied for jobs at Garage, however, we have no intention of working there, for me, at least not until next year. I don't need a job now, I'll need one next year, when my parents make me pay for my ridiculous text bills. (TIM! =P ) But, we got free mirrors, and I need one, for when my contacts fuzz up.
So, in band, we're no longer going to play With Each Sunset(Comes the Promise of a New Day), but instead we will be playing one of our festival pieces, Royal Canadian Sketches, a former Red Deer Royals piece. Which means that we (the horns) get wicked parts, like some nice melody, and counter-melody. But, unfortunately, that is not the case for everyone. I was talking about it to Leslie, and she told me that problem with marching band music for clarinets, they get just random trills, and scales. Poor clarinets, yay for horns!! The only reason we're switching is because Aidan got into National Concert Band!!! YAY AIDS!! But, he'll miss our final concert. =( However, I'm uber happy for him.
So, lately, since finding my writing journal, I'v ebeen writing poems quite a bit more. I've fogotten all the things that used to bother me, and I've remembered how hard it was for me to be in grade nine last year. I know, it's shocking to think of it, but I really was emo, to the point that my life was just depressing and down. If I had hoodies, I'd've worn them. There's also a story that I wrote, that included Tim, long before I really knew him. Funny to read things now...I've totally lost inspiration for it, so it's less than half done, and it's 15 pages. =P
I feel like I'm missing something. I had so much to say earlier, but suddenly, it's left my mind. If I remember, I'll let y'all know.
I miss Tim like there's no tomorrow. =(
Quotes:
"But I play there!" (Chelsea)
"He said trumpets." (Haley)
"But I play there!!" (Chelsea)
"He said trumpets only!" (Anders)

"Do you want to keep stroking it?" - Koos

I keep forgetting quotes...

All I can do is love you to pieces.

Current Mood - Clean, happy, tired-y/content
Current Music - Plus Rien - Les Cowboys Fringants

There's really not much to update. Kelsie and all them senior bandies from Abe came home today. I was very happy, as I missed having her to talk to. Tim came home today as well, which was also good, for the very obvious reasons.
In Social, I got my unit test back, and got 84%, which was above the average of 71%. And I found out that my band concert is not in fact the 28th, but the 16th. Still, let me know if y'all want to come.
I apologise for my entry yesterday. I was kind of hyper, and tired. And seriously missing all my traveling friends.

Quotes:
"Oh, at the cresendedo." - Chelsea

"Mezzo forte, is that louder than forte?" - Chelsea (for the musically uneducated, it's not.)

"I've added two cones (sorry ladies)" Dad, to me and Tara
*Haley, upon hearing this, promptly drops to the ground, and sits there*
(Dad) "Get up!"
(Haley) "I'm a cone!"

Ha;eys boreeeed. And crazy.

Current Mood - Unhappy, but happy...hello oxymorons...or is it contradiction?...haha, CONTRAdiction... Contra Addiction ...haha...help...
Current Music - This is screaming, This is screaming, This is screaming... PHOTO OP!
(This is what you get when i don't update everyday)

Haley feels like writing, but she doesn't know what to write.
Haley's hair has been cut! She got rid of her layers when Swim & Dive started, but she's got them back now! Haley is very pleased about that.

Haley's friends are back from their various trips. Kelsie and everyone are back from New York. Haley missed Kelsie. Tim is still driving back from Whistler. When he was gone, Haley was sad, but at least she could text message him! Robyn's still at her...band thing, and Haley's forgotten when she gets back.

Haley's forced enough insanity on everyone, good night!

Quotes:
"Spencer don't play with it'
"What?"
"The box"
"That's not fun...or dirty." - Haley and Spencer in Science class.
"OMG box." - Haley
"C'mon baby light my fire" - aha, the Doors!! muahah, I lober them.
*men in white coats lift Haley up, and take her away, however they are too late, as this has been published*
Ha;eys next entry will be from the Happy Hotel!!!! Haley likes the bouncy room, and the pretty white jacket the nice men give her.

This has no title. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Cause it's nothing I've said or done
It's just that life watched me go by
Sometimes I can't believe you could've been the one
Just the thought makes me cry

All I can do
Really, baby
Is stop thinking of you
And let him hold me, I'm his baby

The one you probably never respected
The one who never did for you
Cause it's breaking my heart
But not tearing me apart

You're only a shadow
Of what you could've been
Living your life next to me
And actually seeing me

Not treating me
Like I was worse, your inferior
Don't treat me as I am
But what I could be

All he sees in me
Is so much more than I can be
And all I've ever wanted
Was for you to get it

I watched you grow
From the little boy who stood next to me
To the young man that seems to forget his past
I knew it couldn't last...

Watching you
Following you
Wishing, hoping, praying
I could find it inside me

To say something
More than I ever could
Something
Just one moment of bravery

The one moment that never came
Because I never got the chance
When you showed who you want to be
No better, but fast approaching misery

And I still ask myself
How could this happen
Why did I drop my shield
And try to let you in

I missed so much
In so few months
I wish I could know you again
But I'm no longer that girl

He's changed me in ways
You never could
But he didn't make me
As strong as you did

Because for all I feel
I know there's one thing I can't forget
That I hate you
Because you could never love me

And this feeling will be long to fade
It's not something we can just erase
You've left my world
And he's running with me.

This is just something I wrote, that I didn't want to lose

Better watch your step girl
Cause one day it's gonna come outta nowhere.
And there's no way you'll be ready.
He's gonna watch, and wait, until you're through
Ready to give up, and yell 'screw you'
Then he'll be the best, and ever so kind
You'll see it coming
Bam, he's mine.
We're gonna watch and wait.
Until I'm through, until i'm done
And then, son
I'll be gone.
Goodbye, it's over, bonne nuit
No one could ever save me
Until now, I've never thought to stay.
Just hold my arms forever around you, and I'll never leave
Don't ever let go
Don't ever forget me.

How can words affect me so?

Current Mood - Sickish, angry, pleasantly pleased
Current Music - None, although I am listening to House.

SO I'm officially getting sick. I missed school yesterday because my body temperature was fluctuating, and my stomach was queasy, and I had a huge headache. Today, my throat is uber scratchy, and my nose is running faster than a sprinter. Plus, I'm really pissed at my mom, who insists on taking over my science work. It only annoys me becasue I'm a teenage girl, and my mother is trying to be a part of my life. What do you expect?
Anyways, yesterday was uber chill after I went home. I watched The Princess Bride with Nils, and then I watched Robin Hood; Men in Tights. Wicked movies. Soccer practice at 7pm, which was okay, we've got some new players, and that means we'll have an actual team!
Tim's getting me a ticket to Music n' Motion, which is awesome, cause like, it's Music n' Motion!! But, that weekend, I will have a Saturday piano recital, Sunday M n' M, and Monday, Band concert. Crazy music weekend eh?
Today I went to the Theatre Calgary play, The Overcoat. Wow, it was wicked. There was no dialogue, but they danced a lot, and used Dimitri Shostacovitch's music. It was amazing. I really loved the horns, when they came in, obviously. But the play was so cool. I won't describe it here, but I loved it.
So, lately, words have been really hitting me hard. Not nesscessairly bad, but definitely odd. I mean, one phone message made my day. The words on the page in front of me when I read make me think so much harder than I ever have before. I dunno, just random thoughts. But how can words touch me so?
That's pretty much all I have to update. Wow, quick one today.

Quotes:
"Your boobs are yours and Tim's alone!" - Spencer. I'll explain this one only to people who actually want to know.
"What'd you do Gympie?" - My neighbor Janet, when she came to look at Nils's possibly sprainend ankle, after he fell down the stairs.
"I want to date her right now!" - Morgan and Sarah, after Jessica told them what she did for Josh's birthday.

Silicone sister with the manager mister; told me I got what it takes.

So today was a pretty wicked day. We went to Drumheller and to the Royal Tyrell Museum. Which I haven't been to in like, two years, so I really missed it. My favourite room is still the glass-bottomed one about the Precambrian organisms. I actually have a favourite Precambrian organism. *blush* Opabinia. It's a pretty wicked organism!!
I found a bracelet that I forgot I had today. It's got all the crests of Austria on it. It used to be my mother's and I think she got it from my grandfather, who was Austrian. It's quite nice, and I really like it, but it's too big for my wrist, and it keeps slipping. Ich liebe dich Opa.

Anyways, the band room will be locked on Tuesday, which will kinda suck, cause where will I go to leave it all behind?? And where will I talk to Robyn??

Quotes:
"Magic School Bus in Hebrew!!!" - Sean
Not real quotes today, sorry y'all.

REVISION

Okay, you're allowed to Google again. But I think the rule is, you have to understand why I put it there. You'll get points just for trying.
Titles are now googleable, however, any BEFORE this post are not counted as points. The last post was from a song called, "King of Morning, Queen of Day" by Horselips.
I know this is an excellent revision Tim.

Love would find a way.

Current Mood - Strangely depressed and ecstatic at the same time
Current Music - Lay Down - The Bills
Bamfield's Johnny Uanden - The Bills

So, Thursday was a pretty nice day. At school, we started reading "Le Petit Prince" aka, "The Little Prince" in French class. I love that book so much. Science was lame, unsually so. Gym was actually quite good, even though we were doing volleyball, one of my least favourite sports. Social, we paniced a bit, cause I couldn't print the flag, and long story short, everyone's presentations kinda sucked, cause no one knew who was what country. I was very bored in FLA yesterday and today, so I just wrote some poetry.
After school, I re-made the Turkish delight, and went to the Drama Company thing at school with Nils, Tim, and Kelsie. Most of them were very powerful, and quite amazing. Congrats to everyone in it!!! My favourite part was most definitely "Addiction" preformed by Fanta. Wow, is she good. Second favourite was when Alex Oswell, a boy with Down Syndrome got up and preformed a piece about having Down Syndrome and being at school. I send some extra congradulations to him, it's hard just to get up there when you don't have any disabilites at all.
For some reason, they made Intermission 30mins long. I mean, Tom Sawyer was only 15. In the second Act, there was a little piece about parents. I reacted quite strongly to the girl talking about playing her sport, and parents not really accepting that. I know Tim noticed.
Friday was actually a pretty good day. I got to school at a decent time, so that i actually had time to hang with my friends.. Science and FLA were normal, a little crazy in science, and then FLA, I wrote some more.
Lunches are too short on Fridays. Only 15 minutes, but at least we get a lunch. Pauvre Tim =)
But I'm glad I sit next to Chealsea in band now. Much better than the end. And I really quite miss Sean and Tim. Vous deux sont mes meilleurs.

Insipration in French Class

All it seems I want to do
I don't know why I feel like this
Is just think of you
Cause it's really nothing more than a kiss
So let me fall away
It's not something I can hold, that I can put around my neck
Don't let me see the day
But I can use it, always, to check
The light can't hide all that I've done
That you care, and that I matter
The dark hides my lacking sun
Even when I just chatter
It's everyday, all the time
But how do I know, when you've already had
That I remember that you are mine
My two friends, how do I compare to them?
It's black and white, not so clear
Did you treat them the same, better or worse?
Every bit of me sees you here
Why is it them that come to mind
All I can do, is imagine, me and you
When you hold me, and speak so kind
Not a choice that I tried to make, but only what I spake
And then you just think of getting caught
Was treason, what say I?
And my worrying, it seems, is for naught
When I regret, that look in your eye
When I told you what I've missed
Tells me that I've forgotten
You're just shocked, I know you can't believe it
You've never gotten that I'm the one
You've got the lines, and the touch
Whose ideas outrank my sun
Just a bit, it's not too much
Which has gone behind the cloud and back
When you wrap your arms around me
But never did I attack
It's like I'll forever be there in safety
That cloud
When you're gone, it's like I'm empty
Merely, ignore, worked around
The warmth that was there, gone
Lost, never found
When I'm with you, I realize how inadequate I feel
It comes and goes
I'm not the best, I'm undeserving
Gone longer than it stays
Of someone so special as you
A silence, so broken by that which I fight
The jokes you make, the things you do
I'll say it another way only if I can
Make me remember, everyday why I want you
But will it make sense
Sometimes, I wish you were here
To those who don't know what I am?
Others, I think it's better you're not
Each day, I try, to combat
You make it awkward, you make it odd
A waste a wretch, someone you know not
Trying to keep it all together
That's me, can't you see
I still come back
No one knows it, but really, I am
To that feeling you give me
I'm silent, but deadly, only to myself
Forbidden or not
It's not to be explained, only to be known
To those of you who were smart enough to look between the lines
That I am not what I seem
These are two different poems
Shocking as it is, it's true
The small one and the big one
When I'm not black, I'm blue
If you think you know who I mention in both
You've brought me out, I'm not a shell
Let me know.
You think you know me, but you can't
This is filler to make it all look the same
There's only one, and he's not mine
This is filler to make it all look the same
He's ours, and I know she's broken
This is filler to make it all look the same
It's hard, I can't think
This is filler to make it all look the same
What should happen, if not, we'll sink
This is filler to make it all look the same
But you're mine, and you understand
This is filler to make it all look the same
The rest don't get it, and neither do I
This is filler to make it all look the same
Sometimes
This is filler to make it all look the same
You say the things I've never been told
This is filler to make it all look the same
What I don't mind
This is filler to make it all look the same
It's something odd, inside of me
This is filler to make it all look the same
I knew, but I didn't
This is filler to make it all look the same
I do, but I don't
This is filler to make it all look the same
Much as I'd like to think I'm different
This is filler to make it all look the same
I know that I'm not
This is filler to make it all look the same
There's only two who think I'm special
This is filler to make it all look the same
And to them only, am I.

Scoreboard update

NEW RULE: YOU CANNOT GOOGLE THE TITLE, YOU HAVE TO GUESS IT YOURSELF. (Sean!)

Other than that, Sean's in the lead with 60 points
Everyone else, you'd better get on it!!

In a carriage by the motorway

Current Mood - Quiet
Current Music, Movement 2 - Gustav Mahler's 5th Symphony

Well, I've really been meaning to blog lately, but getting in the mood and mode is difficult.
Yesterday was a pretty normal day, except I didn't have piano after band, instead I had a refereeing course. It was just a refresher, dead easy. All we did was answer questions.
The debate room was fun yesterday, although awkward in the end. And technically, I ate in the hallway yesterday. I keep forgetting how much fun I have in there. For the record, and for those of you who don't know, Keenan, Kurt and Steven are all guys I've met only in the last month, all of whom are debaters. Just a reference for Sean.
Today was pretty sweet. I took the bus at like, 8, and it only took me 20 minutes to get to school. That's GOT to be a record for me. After that, things kinda didn't get better, except for some texting with Tim. =) Lunch was pretty good, and what really made my day was Kurt walking in partway though. I missed having his joility in science class, and well, I needed some good times. And I guess I got them. Rihannon kicked me in the knee, when I was trying to steal the hummus from Morgan, who stile it from Rihannon, Jason, Georgeanne, Kees and Sean. Yet another bruise to add. =) Not.
I skipped most of Social, mainly cause there's nothing to do. And Band was good times, except at the end when Mr. Waters told me I should join choir. Which I'm not sure if I want to do. I officially hate him. Never so ultimately as now. When I think of him, my chest tightens, and I have trouble breathing. Go die in a hole. A DEEP one, so that we'll never want to dig up your body. So what if I got new friends, you still treat me like dirt in the fucking band room. I HATE ....Well, ask me if you want to know.

Quotes:
"You shouldn't care about someone's sexual orientation" (Keenan) "Well, unless you're going to ask them out." (Sean)
"I'm not sure wether I'm laughing or crying" - Me, after Rihannon kicked me
"Grandma-like. Well, I've been called motherly, but grandma-like. That's a new one." - Me after Nils tells me to stop calling him kid.

35 points for today's title.
For the record, the scoreboard is as follows:
Tim - 50 points, a hug, and chocolate
Sean - 25 points
(Yesterday was only worth 5 points)

The sound of silence

Current Mood - Tired, but content
Current Music - None

Well, I have to say, yesterday was a pretty good day. I got to school waay too early, but it was alright. Bekah, Manda and Keenan joined me at pretty much the same time. There was a very large chocolate bar in the band room, which I enjoyed helping eating. Robyn's been having a crappy time, so I think chocolate was nice for her. =(
Nothing really to say about my classes, except that I had a sub in Sci, who's way of getting our attention was to sit at the front, glasses off, rubbing her forehead. I mean, I got that she wanted our attention, and I passed it on, but we're in grade 10, that's not what's going to work. You need to say something. Geesh.
Chelsea came back on Saturday, and it was nice to have a buddy to sit next to during band class, since apparently, I'm not good enough to sit next to Mariam anymore. We pretty much talked most of the class, I'm surprised Paddock didn't yell at us.
In social, my group pretty much left the class and photoshopped ourselves a flag. Furla left about 15 mins early, not that we cared.
Then, Hannah came over to work on our FLA project. We had to finish up with the Turkish delight. However, we didn't put enough gelatine in, so we had Turkish Delight Goop. (1 bloody pound of sugar!!!) W/e, I'll make another batch later.
Soccer practice last night. It was fun, but my dad taught a couple things wrong, aka, the warm-up. It's a brazilian style warm-up and i really like it.

Quotes:
"Angels and ministers of...dammit, something! I can't bloody remember." - Me, attempting to explain "The Curse of the Scottish Play"
"I just walk into a theatre and yell 'Macbaeth, Macbaeth!', and see what happens, even if that's not the play they're doing." -Spencer
'You have to leave the theatre, turn around three times, spit over your left shoulder-although, that might be salt-and you have to wait to get invited back in." - Sean

Wow, all Macbaeth themed quotes today.

And I found out.

Current Mood - Happy
Current Music - Come Together/Dear Prudence/Cry Baby Cry - The Beatles LOVE

Well, today started off well, when my parents didn't even try and wake me up until 10:30. Ahh, I needed a break. Tim texted me right as I turned on my phone this morning, however that was only when I recieved it. He sent it at 8:15. *evil smile* I love sleeping in.
Hannah came over at 2 to work on our FLA project. We had to find an English reciepe, translate it, then make it. So, there was purchasing of ingredients while the Flames lost 3-1. =( That was depressing, but what are you going to do?
Anyways, Hannah and I made very yummy Lamb with grape leaves, and Turkish Delight. Quite a fine meal, if I do say so myself. Rather simple, I'll send the reciepe to those who want it.
Sean, call me, and i'll get you the playlist.
Quotes:
"Don't go to University, it sucks." - Mom
"Stop drifting!" (Nils) "Nils, you're on drift mode!" (Haley and Kelsey)
"Why are we handicapped?" - Kelsey (After Nils accidentally clicked "Handicap, Yes" in a Wii game)
From now on, people gets points and other prizes if they guess where my titles (if they are quotes) come from. 20 points today.

"You've gotta be interested, you're a whore!"

Today was tiring, to say the least. Up at like, 7:45, in order to leave at 8:30 for a 9 o'clock piano make-up lesson. I've got a referee clinic on Tuesday, so I'll be missing my normal lesson. Well, that could've probably gone better, but then again, I could've practiced my scales. I dislike scales, no matter the instrument.
Then I had some aptitude tests. I'm not going to describe the reason to you all, but those of you I trust, know it. Anyways, they took pretty much the whole day. 10:30 till 3:30. I'm not going to describe them to you, but there was one questionnaire I had to fill out, and one question was, "I get calls from popular movies stars."
*twitch* I'm pretty sure I don't.
Ridiculous question. It's hard to keep your mind from wandering there. I know that I thought long and hard about Sean. I know what I did was the best for our friendship, and for the Keepers, but it's the hardest thing I've had to do in a while.
Anyways, when I came home, I discovered that Sean called me! Finally I got to talk to him for the first time in three weeks. So much has happened, that I've needed someone to listen and understand.
He's told me some stories from Florida, and even though half the time I was only half-listening, I still didn't get it. Does that make sense? Sorry kid, I'm just preoccupied.
I've discovered that I almost always misspell the word "swell". Yes, I know, I'm retarded. I spelt it "sweel". Shut up.
So I realized how much being in a relationship means to me, I've totally forgotten.
Fifty points to whoever can tell me what the title is from!! Okay, fifty points, a hug and chocolate.

Bonus.

I love randomly(or not) reciting "Forehead Shavecut" with Spencer, Kurt and Steven. And the fact that we know every word. And I like that I know "End of the World" and "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" too.
I love you flash videos.

Steam rising from the sidewalks of New Orleans after an evening rain.

Current Mood - Tired, but happy.
Current Music - Concerning Charlie Horse - Great Big Sea

Well, this has been quite an interesting past few days. I've actually had a decent time, although I admit, I crashed a couple times.
School was relativly boring, although I did kind of patch it up with my friends. Except Glenn still hates me. And I still eat in the debate room, mainly cause it's just fun in there. You never know when we'll errupt into a random argument.
Kelsie had a bit of a bad week, and I feel bad, because mine was really good, for exact opposite reasons. *hug* Love lives of high-schoolers are too complicated for me.
Well, Sean comes back tonight, which will make me incredibly happy. It's hard being away from your best friend!! And I'm allowed to go to Alyssa's birthday party, so it'll be good times! I get to see my two best friends again.
On and even brighter side, Tim asked me out on Wednesday, which did make me happy, but then Kelsie's thing didn't work out. =( Then my mom tells me I can't go out tonight, cause there was no real way to get me there. But w/e. My life won't end.
Playing test in Band on Wednesday. I was actually okay, I got 8+, 8. Which is around 80% I think. Then, just like at rehearsal the day before, my stomach cramped so badly that I could play at all. Not fun, especially when we're playing Palimpsest, which, for those of you who know, is a crazy horn part at the 6/8 time change.
I've discovered that I actually CAN text, but I don't know my plan, so I don't use it, not until my dad tells me how much I'm allowed to. =D But I can recieve, those of you who don't expect a text back.
I rediscovered my love for good 90s rock over Spring Break. John Hiatt (from whom my title is taken) and Tom Cochrane, mostly. And I've rediscovered my wonderful Beatles. I'm pretty much addicted to "I Feel Fine", "Day Tripper", and "Ticket to Ride", which were never really songs I liked. It's very good, because I need to NOT get addicted to Panic! At The Disco.
Gym class sucked yesterday and today. We had a personal trainer yesterday, and now my back is really sore from the stuff he made us do. My upper arms too. Then today, we were playing soccer outside, and I accidentally slide-tackled David. His knee hit mine right where I bend it, and i've now got a bruise that hurts quite a bit. =(
I have a comic that everyone must get addicted to. www.xkcd.com It updates every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. READ IT. a webcomic of sarcasm, romance, science and language. <3
I went to Battle of the Bands final today, GO SKAZILLA!! They were awesome, as per usual. And actually, the band after them was pretty decent.
So, I love David Hodges, he's an amazing person. <3
'Tis all children.

Quote of the day: "Yeah, I love him too, a lot..." Erik, after he's talking about his dad, and someone yells, "I love him!"

A proof is a proof!

Current Mood - Pretty happy.
Current Music - None.

Ahh, Spring Break. Pretty nice, good weather, time away from everybody else. Helped me think, and I'm not really in a blogging mood.
Sean's new quote: So you speak French? - Random Cruise member after learning Sean is from Canada.
Sean, call me, je t'aime.

SKAAA!!

Here's how my day started.
I collapsed onto a couch in the debate room today, proclaiming, "I hate Monday mornings."
For those of you reading this after the day of posting, this was Tuesday.
Anyways, Social almost made me fall alseep, and I was starving during Band. Not good, considering we had to sing our wonderful monks' chant, and I had to play.
Lunch was terrible too. My Babybel cheese was in the same Ziploc as my sandwich(pita bread, open end) and they got covered in butter. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, but I just completely broke down. Fortunately, Kurt was there, and kept me from completely falling apart. He took a couple Kleenexes, and cleaned my cheese. I just sat there, trying not to cry. It got a little better, Greg ended up giving me a Diet Pepsi, and Keenan did his Scottish accent. That always makes me smile. =)
Science was dead boring, we were doing Physics. *yawn*
FLA, the play was a disaster. But funny. I had to ask every guy in my class if they could tie a tie. Jean de Florette is boring.
Walking home, my shoes were soaked, thanks to the bloody snow/slush. Kurt and Keenan walked with me, and it turns out that the buses were running anyways! I ended up running to the bus stop, even though the bus I caught was 2 of 3 that went by.
Not that I care, I got home.
Spencer keeps asking me what's going on with Kurt, but the truth is, I can't answer him, cause I don't even know what's going on. The kid avoids me, and I can't talk to him.
Yesterday, Keenan and I went to watch Skazilla, and Aidan and Robyn joined us. Skazilla!!! They were pretty awesome. "Like a bunch of crows, SKAAAAAA!!" Oh, how I love Whose Line is it anyway? Don't go looking for that clip, it's been removed from YouTube.
Anyhoo, I've naught else to update, but I'm going on Spring Break to Vancouver Island on Friday, so no updates until after Spring Break. Bye Kids!! <3
PS to Tim; I'm going to start stalking you until I get into your pants.

I am the Walrus!

Well, it's been about a week since my last update, and I apologise. Tim, you need to update more often too though!!
Anyways, Nils's dad, Uwe is here for the weekend, and Nils has been pretty happy. They went skiing today, and apparently, it was a good time.
Thursday was our day off, and I decided to use my time by waiting in line at Country Hills EB Games for a Wii. First in line! Sadly, they didn't get any that day. So that was about three hours wasted. Decent day off, other than that. Robyn and I volunteered to help at PTIs, by being greeters. After PTIs, Porier asked me if I wanted to debate in Edmonton. My response? "Would I ever!" Sadly, our weekend is crazy, so I couldn't go. =(
On Friday I had a dentist appointment and missed 1st & 2nd periods. (Kurt had a dentist appt. too! Weird.) Anyways, I got back in time for lunch. Since we were so close to North Hill, my mom dropped us off at the dentist's office, and bought Kelse and me a Wii!!! So I got a Wii, that was awesome.
At the end of the day, I had some time, and I said good-bye to the debaters going to Edmonton. Kurt, got a special good-bye...(Saberkane, call me when you read this) Then I went home, and set up the Wii! Something happened, and for two days, we didn't have sound. Dad fixed it, I jsut plugged in the wires the wrong way.
The only game we have right now is Wii Sports, so it's a little boring after a while, but we've discovered that Nils kicks all of our butts. Kelse and I have a GameCube game, Shrek 2, but We don't have Cube controlers, so we couldn't really play it.
Yesterday, we had Oma, Opa, Oma's friend, Grandma, my aunt Karin and uncle Rod, and my two cousins, Kristen and Amanda over for and evening, where everyone got to meet Nils and Uwe. (BTW, the 'w' is pronounced like a 'v' and the 'e' like an 'a')
Today, I just kinda hung out. Nils and Uwe went skiing at Sunshine, and my parents and Mat and Tara went to Eric Clapton in Edmonton. Damn, I wish I could've gone.
Well, that's really all the updating I have to do, so maybe I'll just rant for a bit.
I'm just tired of indecision, I can't figure out what or who I want, and I know the pros and cons to everything. They even out, and listing them doesn't help, because it doesn't help me decide!
Gareth thought I waved him over to talk to him the other day, and although I didn't, I wish I could've said something to him. We need to fix this, fast, because our group is falling apart, and I'm falling apart. No, I don't want him back, but I just don't want this to end out like Glenn and Chelsea's did. I want to get my friend back.

Hey Peter...Kick his ass.

Ahh, well, My parents are asleep, so I can get on.
Well, I went to the Telus World of Science today. Nils and I watched "Forces of Nature" at the Discovery Dome, and Sean snapped at me, cause I had the wrong ticket. *blush* I just messed up for once. Anyways, the exhibits were pretty sweet, and I beat Nils at MindBall, where you have to relax in order to get the ball into the opponent's circle. I pretty much just meditated, and apparently, my brain waves were off the chart in no brain activity.
I stole my mom's mini eggs, and it was funny, because she thought that the cashier left them on the counter at the sotre. We went pretty much the whole day, without her even mentioning it. All I did was hide them behind the fruit bowl(good place eh?).
More later.

I'm screwed!

So, I'm in quite a bit of trouble right now, cause of my marks. None are over 70%. That just screws me over. Don't expect many updates for a while.
Anyways, I chilled with Kurt today, which made me quite happy. That kid always knows how to make me smile.
Uhm, I'm really not in a blogging mood, so expect updates in another month or so, until this all blows over.

First Post!

Yes, so this is my blog! I've given in to the peer pressure *hangs head*. Anyways, there isn't much to talk about today, and I doubt there will be any other day.
Soo, Choir Camp left today, not that I'm disappointed, singing just isn't my thing. I hope y'all have fun, and be amazing at Kwanis!!
Science was quite fun today, considering Kurt and I did very little to no work. We talked mostly, and Laura just creeped me out. Stephen switched seats when I left the class, and I think I might just annoy him tomorrow by keeping them switched. Although, I might miss having Spencer next to me.
I've discovered that I'd much rather eat in the band room than in the hallway, at least not for another week or so. It's still pretty awkward for us, and I think he's taking it harder than me. I'm just kinda ready for him to move on, so that I know I'm not being held back, by the guilt that is Gareth Cross.
I miss theatre, quite a bit. I wish I could act in something fun, like The Crucible. I know, not terribly 'fun' per say, but I like it. It's an interesting play.
Speaking of The Crucible, Sean! I know, it's not really related, but Sean's reading it in his English class. Hehe, I have more medals than him.
This is the medal story, for those of you who don't know. Sean was over at my house the day after Regionals, and we were arguing. He said, "Show me your medal!" (He won 'Best Speaker' for beginner the day before) I answered, "Okay." and pick up my pile of medals. Only one was an obligatory medal. (Bronze and Honorable Mention medals from Calgary Youth Science Fair, and two Gold medals, one from CMSA and one from ASA, 2003). Sean response? "Damn it, I didn't notice the pile of medals in the corner!"
Speaking of Sean, I'm going to put up all the quotes he keeps. They're rather funny.
Sean's quote of the day: My ox is broken! - Colin Guinn
Some old ones: Spake. It's the past tense of spoke.
"We have no love for Satin in this house!"